Fond memories of bliss – Part 1

Let me introduce myself as Srinivasan.

If you ask me, the greatest fortune that I have had is the opportunity to accompany Sri Sri Swamiji when he travels because one gets to spend a lot of time in His divine company during such trips. Those were the days when Sri Swamiji had not revealed Himself to the world. He was known only to a few families – to whom He was everything, their only refuge, closest companion and sole guiding light! And I take immense pride in the fact that my family is one of those fortunate few…… when I look back and think for a moment, my heart swells with pride and tears roll down my eyes…

I have traveled several times with Swamiji and so has my brother Sundararaman. I have personally witnessed innumerable interesting incidents that took place in Swamiji’s presence. Of course, every moment spent in Sri Swamiji’s company is most interesting, but some always stand out! On very rare occasions, Sri Swamiji would Himself disclose some amazing spiritual experiences that He was undergoing at that time. It is very atypical of Him to disclose such incidents… it happens very rarely despite his best efforts to conceal them and I have been one of those lucky ones, who has heard it directly from Sri Swamiji.

I hail from Kumbakonam, a busy temple town on the banks of the Holy Cauvery. Sri Swamiji used to spend a lot of time in Kumbakonam then. He did not have schedules or public programmes like now. He often visited Kumbakonam and one of his favourite spots in Kumbakonam is the Cauvery ghat. He would sit in neck-deep water or on the banks, meditating for hours on end. He loved to take a dip in the holy Cauvery and would do so any number of times all day long. Swamiji would sit by the river and perform japa, recite slokas or simply be lost in the divine bliss. Imagine, Sri Swamiji sitting in perfect stillness alongside the beautiful, vibrant Cauvery. Just the thought will make our minds soar high! On several occasions Swamiji would reach the Cauvery ghats by nine at night and stay there meditating all night till four in the morning. He would light up ghee lamps and allow them to float in the river. It was gorgeous sight indeed to see those tiny lamps go afloat in the river like droplets of the sun riding on tiny boats. Once I asked Swamiji innocently as to why He was lighting all those lamps. The answer that Sri Swamiji gave in his typical unassuming tone was startling! He said, ‘You see, a lot of jivas are suffering and seek liberation. That’s why I float these ghee lamps!’ Sri Swamiji used to have specific counts every night.

Another favorite place of visit was the the Kumbheshwara temple. There is a spot opposite the Mangalambika sannidhi where Sri Swamiji used to specifically sit and meditate for very long periods of time. Sri Swamiji’s most favourite temple in Kumbakonam is the Aravamudhan temple. He would stand opposite the sanctum sanctorum seeing the countenance of the Lord with tear-filled eyes for hours.

Back then, Swamiji used to walk or commute by bus or auto rickshaw mostly. Once Swamiji and I went to Koranattu Karuppur. This place is famous for the temple of Goddess Kaali, the Universal Mother. Mother Kaali is in lying posture and is locked in a box as per traditions here. Usually when a devotee desires darshan, a feast is offered to the Mother and the priest then opens the box. Sri Swamiji wanted to have darshan of the Mother and a special feast was offered as per local practice.

The priest then opened the box and we had the most wonderful darshan. Swamiji kept telling me over and over again, ‘See how beautiful the Divine Mother is!’ He was totally lost! But I had this little troubling thought. It was quite dark inside and there were no lights. As I could see there was only one light there located right above the box and that too was switched off. I told the priest ‘It is so dark! Can you please turn on the tube light so that I can have good darshan?’ The priest retorted in sulking tone, ‘I wish I could. That light has not worked in ages.’

I thought I will fix the problem by replacing the light and ran out to find an electrical store. I ran up and down the whole place in a vain attempt to get the light on. I gave up finally. Seeing my plight, Sri Swamiji smiled and looked up at the light. To me it appeared as if He were saying ‘Dear light! Poor Seenu(that’s how Swamiji calls me fondly!) here desperately wishes to have a good darshan of Mother Kaali. Why don’t you help him?’

Believe it or not, right at that moment, the light that had not worked in a very long time, came on like a lightning flash. I was thrilled, the priest was thoroughly confused and the darshan was done! As Swamiji would say often, ‘You do all the running around and finally give up. At that point Grace takes over. If things are only going to happen by grace and not by our effort, why then should we do all ‘the running around’…. The ‘running around’ bit is only to reveal our sincerity and then grace takes over completely’ It seemed to me that it was true even in this trivial case.

To this day, when I think of that trip, I remember the tube-light more vividly than the vibrant form of Mother Kaali. I tell myself, would not the beloved Guru Maharaj, who was merciful enough to grant even a trivial wish by dispelling the darkness in the temple and bringing on the light in a flash, also do the same with the darkness called ignorance in my heart and illuminate me for eternity!